Chinese New Year

oh its chinese new year again...

And cNY to me will not be CNY if i don go my ah gong house on chu xi for reunion dinner and then to the temples to pray on day 1 and visiting on day2 haa... actually each year i go to the same places and go thru the same procedures la, but now it seems as we grow older, the novelty wears off? it's not so fun anymore? or is it just because we got more things in our minds now to worry bout, and we are not as innocent as before anymore? therefore we cant learn to enjoy ourselves totally...

i guess its the latter....

Since young, i dread going to the temples, cos it will be smoky, and filled with people, and i hope to finish the ordeal fast so that i can go find my cousins soon at my ah gong's house to play cards, but this year, i no longer just take the joss sticks and go thru the motion before planting them into the "lu" or "urn" whatever u call it in ang mo...

i feel that it's much more meaningful this year as i visit the temple.. perhaps it's because this year i have something in my mind i want to wish for? This year, i really wish and say the prayers from the bottom of my heart, i wish for the good health, prosperity and happiness of not just my family, but someone else's... I went to many temples, and each temple there are a few "lu" and gods to pray to, and each time i repeat all my prayers conscientiously... i do not know where i got the patience... my mum must be wondering what's wrong with me this year as i took so long each time i pray to the god... Now it seems that they are the one going thru the motion and not me...

it may seems foolish, saying all these prayers when u don even know whether it will work or not, but i think maybe it doesnt really matters anymore, perhaps i will feel better by doing all these as i will choose to believe that after praying, she who matters, will be blessed... and i shall be happy for that...