Short Breather...

Finally got time for a short breather... Today is the first day since 10 August that i got the chance to be at home at 8 plus (Considered early)...

I don live in hall, and i sleep at home every day, but can u believe i haven seen my parents for 4 days? Since sunday, every night i only managed to get home earliest 1am and my parents had slept. When i woke up, they would already had gone out to work, and the cycle repeats... feel so bad...

Since last sunday when grandma passed away, was mostly at Teck Whye till thurs... Friday went back to school followed by campus concert urshering, Saturday was Cynosure Ball and stayed overnight at hotel till sunday before meeting for HJ and SJ birthday.

Monday was CAC Election Rally at night, Tuesday and Wednesday was Recruitment Drive and interview cum Global Bank talk.... REally, everyday was so packed until today's' election, finally i can say that there is time for a breather.... i hope to be able to catch up on the stuffs that i missed out this past weeks during the weekend....

I have been wanting to thank all my friends and cousins who were concerned about me since 外婆 passed away last sunday. This 2 weeks have been really too busy to think about it...

Had my tuition at night that sunday, and was eating dinner at the coffee shop at nine plus close to ten when my bro called. My dad ask us to go down to Teck Whye, and i knew it, the time has come... 外婆 is supposed to be at NUH and there can be no other reasons to go down to Teck Whye other than one...

Sped down in 10 mins, saw her for the last hour... she was struggling, in great pain, held our hands, i couldnt talked to her, my voice was lost, choked with tears... She groaned loudly and everyone of us could feel the pain.. we were just as equally in pain... The buddhist prayer was playing faintly in the background, and we all hope she can have a easy last few moments...

Its hard to control emotions even as a blog about this...

She shouted, thru the oxygen mask in Hokkien:" wah gia liao xiang zhao gou yi" ( i leave already who will take care of him) We wept and consoled her, we will take care of him, don worry, he also don want you to worry.... he is old enough to take care of himself already....

外婆 always scold him.. this is their way of communication for 50 years...

She told him:" wen lang ye gum qing... gia liao liao" (we have come to the end of the road of our relationship). Even though 外婆 was always scolding him, their love for each others were deep... 外公 always maintain silent as 外婆 did her scolding... this is their way of maintaining a relationship, accomodation for each other, understanding the temper of each others, that was how they lasted the past half-century...

Towards the end, she lost consciousness, and laid quietly in the arms of my uncle... slowly her breathing gets softer and softer... the rise and fall of her chest gets lesser and lesser.. and she left...

Every single one of us were shaken, but we pulled together, did all the arrangements required and make sure she can leave with peace in her mind...

The 4 days that followed must have been what she wanted to see.... Our whole family came together, worked hand in hand... i talked to a cousin i haven seen in 2 years... We always played together when we were young, but we grew apart as each of us became busy... we talked and helped each others out, knew more about each other's life now...

in the 4 days, i talked to one of my uncle more than wad i talked to him about for the past 10 years... I believe this is what 外婆 wanted to see, and i believe 冥冥中 she was with us all along to bring the family together.... she has a sharp mind, she could remember every single one of our names and what we were doing even though we don't always meet... its only her body that failed her....

During that 4 days, the person who felt worst could be none other than 外公.. he has a very tanned complexion... but i could see his swollen eyes, the redness in the eyelid despite it being tanned... his tears fell quietly, how is he to accept having to live without his partner... i realli hope i can do more for 外公... i shall try as much as possible to make time to go Teck Whye if i can...

Hope 外婆 will be able to bless 外公 and everyone of us....

This blog shall be dedicated to my dearest 外婆。。。